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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28707861">Where's My Love?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrezidentTaquito/pseuds/PrezidentTaquito'>PrezidentTaquito</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:40:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28707861</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrezidentTaquito/pseuds/PrezidentTaquito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tommy,” Wilbur said in a disbelieving tone, but deep down Tommy knew that Wilbur was aware about how right he was.</p><p>  <i>“You never loved us.”</i></p><p>Wilbur sucked in a sharp breath.</p><p>“Tommy, I did-- I do love you. You and Wilbur both,” Phil tried to convince him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>246</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Where's My Love?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As Tommy paced yards away from the gaping entrance to the dark cave his mind raced a mile a minute. The cold and the dark cover of the night left him chilled, but he paid little attention to that in favor of straining his ears in an attempt to listen in on anything that he could be missing. Phil had told him that he wasn’t allowed into the cavern because it was dangerous for him to be near the ritual site, in case anything went wrong. But he had gone in hours ago with Ghostbur floating just ahead of him as they disappeared into the shadows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had heard shouts some time ago, he wasn’t quite sure how long though, time seemed to almost blur as he stomped a thick trail into the snow, packing it down like it was nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy flinched when something heavy hit the ground with a harsh clang on the stone, echoing out into the field he stood in. That had to have been Wilbur’s sword, Tommy nearly grimaced when he remembered that it belonged to Phil now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was silent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sky was slowly growing lighter and the teen stared with renowned vigor at the dim entrance, holding his breath as he heard footsteps echoing. There was only one set of them from what Tommy could make out and he almost let the thought of Phil walking out alone take over his mind as his eyes moved back and forth, straining his vision as he attempted to make out the shadowy figure stumbling out into the early morning.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But when Wilbur stepped out of the rock face, </span>
  <em>
    <span>the real Wilbur, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tommy was shocked, but it was quickly overtaken by the bubbling happiness that filled him to the brim. It was Wilbur. Alive and whole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was his Wilbur. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His brother.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wil—“ Tommy choked out, vision blurring as his eyes filled with unshed tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a step forward, hand reaching out to touch the older male as he came forward. Tommy was vaguely aware about how hard his hands were shaking. He must really look like a child to the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet Wilbur held incredibly still for Tommy as he approached unsteadily. He looked at his younger brother as his lifted hand made contact with Wilbur’s chest, palm flat over his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy nearly sobbed when he felt the faint heartbeat through the sheer </span>
  <em>
    <span>warmth </span>
  </em>
  <span>of Wilbur’s skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re—You’re back… You’re really here. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck—“ </span>
  </em>
  <span>The blond stuttered, his breath hitching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur smiled softly, brown eyes shining brilliantly clear in the slowly rising sun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy used to be jealous of his eyes as a child. When he was young he used to take to staring at Wilbur’s face a lot and always commented on his eyes. There was something fascinating about how they would glow like embers in the light of dawn. That matched with the fierce gazes he held during the revolution when he led his men into battle used to awe Tommy. He couldn’t wait to see those brown eyes shine in the morning sun again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blond was brought out of his thoughts by the faint whisper of his brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m here.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was scratchy from disuse, but Tommy paid no mind to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was then, finally, after months of holding in his emotions, the dams broke and Tommy could feel the heavy walls he had built up to protect himself crumble as if they were nothing. He haphazardly threw himself into Wilbur’s chest and buried his head in his older brother's shoulder. Finally, out of the sight of everyone, he let his tears fall, even if he was crying not so subtly. He didn’t want anyone else to see him weak. Yet, Wilbur only let his smile grow fonder, face softening as he wrapped his arms around his younger brother as he closed his eyes and leaned his cheek against Tommy’s head. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wilbur…” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tommy mumbled, voice muffled by the fabric of the Wilbur’s clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed like that for some time. Tommy wasn’t aware how long. Seconds, minutes, hours? All he knew was that he never wanted to leave the warm and comforting embrace of Wilbur’s arms. But one day he would have to and the more he put it off the more he would rather stay and never leave, so when he pulled away he did so, but not before briefly hesitating, breathing in the scent of spruce, smoke, and just a hint of whatever herbs had been used in the ritual. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It helped ground him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur gazed into his blurred vision, huffing out a half chuckle quietly as he brought a hand up to wipe away his little brothers tears. The sloped smile on Wilbur’s face never once faded as he stared back at Tommy, who leaned into the touch with a stuttered breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Tommy, you look so tired… When did you last eat?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy tried to laugh, but it lodged itself in his throat in an awkward place and he stuttered before speaking again, “I don’t know…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Wilbur would ask that first after all this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur sighed in response, shaking his head lightly. But that peaceful expression never left his face. It brought back Tommy to when they were much younger than they are now. It made his chest ache from the familiarity of it. The feigned disappointment when Tommy did something like forget his chores or to take off his shoes before he entered their home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s alright. We’ll fix you right up as soon as we get back home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed, “But L’Manburg blew up Wil—“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“L’Manburg was just a place, Tommy. Home is us. It’s me and you and Tubbo and whoever else wants to join us. ” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But—“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, we’ll be okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The teen swallowed the new sob that was trying to force its way up his throat, but steeled himself and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and held it for a moment before releasing it, his shoulders going lax. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy opened his eyes again, bright blue and confident, “Right. Starting over from rubble is something we’re good at now, aren’t we?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur missed that sea of emotions his little brother's gaze always held.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment between the two was shattered when Phil walked out of the large hole that was once a tiny entrance to a cramped cave and looked at his two sons standing together under the blue sky as it lightened. He smiled softly too, but it didn’t have the same effect as Wilbur’s. It made something ugly pulse in the pit of Tommy’s stomach. He could clearly see how it didn’t reach the older man’s eyes entirely.. But he also caught how his deep blue eyes quickly passed over the two of them to land on something within the treeline nearby, surveying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tore his own gaze from his father to the tall figures standing on the edge of the wood, shadowed by the still half dark sky and the cramped together trees. Out of sight if one were not searching for them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Techno…” their father breathed out with a tired expression and the latter stepped out into the approaching light. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Techno?” Wilbur echoed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Techno?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tommy questioned, voice breaching the lines of accusatory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man in the crimson cape stood tall as Phil approached and Tommy felt his heart sink. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right. Phil was with Techno. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Phil—“ Wilbur called out to the man, with a ridged Tommy still wrapped up in his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Wil. I need to get back before we’re spotted by anyone. It’s not safe for Techno here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re leaving again...” Tommy’s voice was quiet and he was avoiding looking at anyone, instead boring holes deep into Wilbur’s chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t sound sad anymore at the prospect of people leaving him, just disappointed. Too many people had betrayed his trust. Tommy was done with letting people walk over him because he wasn’t yet an adult, letting them think he was incapable of complex thinking and making decisions on his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Techno needs me—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something in Tommy snapped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something that had been building up deep inside him for years.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I needed you!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tommy screamed, voice raw. His throat burned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned to where Phil and Techno stood together yards away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I needed you! Wil needed you before you up and fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>murdered him! </span>
  </em>
  <span>And you fucking left me after that! You let Tubbo exile me! You let Dream take me away! I was out there all alone for </span>
  <em>
    <span>months </span>
  </em>
  <span>with </span>
  <em>
    <span>no one. Dream spent all that time manipulating me—“ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tommy gripped his cloak tightly with one fist, his eyes dark as tears began to drip down his cheeks involuntarily, “And… And I needed you dadza… </span>
  <em>
    <span>I needed you and you weren’t there for me.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy—“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! No! You were never there for me </span>
  <em>
    <span>or for Wilbur! </span>
  </em>
  <span>You left us… </span>
  <em>
    <span>You left us for that traitor! </span>
  </em>
  <span>We’re your </span>
  <em>
    <span>sons! Your own blood and kin! And you ditched us for that bastard!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy took a deep breath, standing up straighter and wiping his eyes. Phil looked heartbroken and Tommy… Tommy took pride in that fact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy I told you my ideals. You’re the one who betrayed me,” Techno spoke up calmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> shut your goddamn mouth. You almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tubbo! You’re the reason we’re here right now!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was—“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“—Peer pressured! I fucking got it, okay! </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’ve fucking told me over and over!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno looked hurt and Tommy’s breathing was ragged as he struggled to take in a breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never cared about us,” Tommy said, voice low and dripping with venom, “I get it now. You really did pick favorites. And you blew up L’Manburg for that favorite. This is why we left you in the first place all those years ago when you were still the ruler of the Antarctic Empire. You chose him over us. That’s why Wilbur took me away that day. He couldn’t stand to be second best to someone who wasn’t even part of our family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy,” Wilbur said in a disbelieving tone, but deep down Tommy knew that Wilbur was aware about how right he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>You never loved us.</em>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur sucked in a sharp breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, I did--</span>
  <em>
    <span> I do</span>
  </em>
  <span> love you. You and Wilbur both,” Phil tried to convince him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you loved me…Why’d you leave me, dadza…? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why? You never came after us that day we left. Why…?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil opened his mouth to reply, but Tommy cut him off before he could speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses. This—,” He reached inside the collar of his tunic and pulled out a chain that held a small shining jewel on the end, Techno’s friendship emerald that the teen got from Phil. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy ripped it off of his neck, the chain snapping harshly, “—This means </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He threw the emerald on the ground and with a final look at his father and the person who was once his older brother figure, he turned and stormed off towards the rubble of what was once the great L’Manburg, “I hope you’re happy you fucking ruined this family, Phil.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy…” Phil croaked out, voice cracking. He made an aborted movement to reach out for his son, but his hand fell back to his side once Tommy disappeared around the bend of the cliff.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur looked between his younger brother and his father, conflicted. He looked like he was on the verge of shedding his own tears. This never should have happened, Wilbur had just been revived and now his family was breaking apart for the last time just after he was welcomed back into the world of the living. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was able to truly feel that ache in his chest for the first time in years and he wanted the unfamiliar feeling gone. It almost made him wish he were dead again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur shook the feeling away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He seemed to make up his mind, Phil looked almost hopeful when Wilbur had stayed looking at them for a long moment, but his face fell further when his oldest son whirled around and went after Tommy, but not before taking a final longing glance at the the other half of his family for what could have been the last time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If there was one thing Phil had come to terms with since his sons left him as children it was that Wilbur would always put Tommy first, before anyone else, including himself. Especially himself. He cared so much for his younger brother it became his major fault. His heart was too big for his own good. But, Phil knew that no matter what Wilbur would never leave Tommy, not on his own accord and not without a fight, even if he lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur caught up with Tommy shortly after that, watching as the other stood on the edge of the crater that was once their country. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Wilbur said, stepping up to stand next to his brother, “I think I’m finally ready to call this symphony finished.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wil, what are we going to do now?” Came the quiet response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur sighed, staring up at the sky above them as the sun began to peek out from over the hills, “We’ll find somewhere. Just us. Far away. We’ll head east, past Pogtopia. Settle somewhere quiet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I do the right thing…?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy. Listen to me carefully when I say this. All of</span>
  <em>
    <span> this</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wilbur makes a grand gesture to the hole in front of them, “This was my fault to begin with. And yet, for some reason you aren’t angry with me. You haven't taken to punching me or even stabbing me yourself surprisingly. I… I don’t deserve your kindness more than anyone else’s after what I did to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy refused to make eye contact, forcing his gaze to bore holes in the stone hundreds of feet below them, “I forgave you a long time ago, Wilbur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. Maybe because you were all I had, maybe because I could see why you did it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe there was a part of me that thought I could still save you before it was too late, despite the things you did in the past.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I don’t exactly have a fucking clean slate myself. I burnt down George’s house while he was king, I dragged Ranboo into it too. I stole from people and helped everyone take down Schlatt. I’m not surprised Tubbo exiled me. I deserved it after all I had done. But, I realized something not long ago. That anger… It only gets you so far. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Revenge</span>
  </em>
  <span> only gets someone so far before everyone they trust leaves,” Tommy finally looked over at Wilbur, “I had no one on my side… </span>
  <em>
    <span>And I hated that.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur felt a tear slip down his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted my brother back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The teen let out a wet laugh, “We’re so traumatized. We really fucked ourselves over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s get Tubbo and let's leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, Dream--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There's enough capable people left in the SMP to deal with him. He got your discs, but we still have one thing that I won’t ever let him take from us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, Wilbur please don’t be cheesy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have hope.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...And there it is,” Tommy bumped shoulders with his older brother, the other doing the same until they were both just leaning against each other awkwardly, “You’re so stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Says you. Child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy laughed again, a real laugh. His first in a long time, and Wilbur grinned so wide his cheeks hurt. They stood like that, close together for a long time in the silence of early morning. It was comfortable, something that reminded Tommy of his childhood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he was the one to break the silence first as they stared up at the clouds and the way the sky grew lighter and the last of the stars disappeared with the end of the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy turned to look at the older male, “So… What now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>WIlbur stepped back as the sun appeared from behind the hills, bathing the rubble and the two brothers in its pleasant yellow glow, “We start again.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am very not used to writing fics and honestly still basically new, but I hope you enjoyed this idea my friend wanted to see. I wrote this all in like a handful of hours over the course of like three days, finishing editing for like the third time at like one in the morning. So pardon errors that occurred!</p><p>My twitter is @Doctor_Zer0 for anyone interested. I talk on there sometimes lol  :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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